Kingdom Farts
by ShadowsDusk
Summary: A spoof off of our favorite game, not meant to be taken seriously. The whole gang and few OC's are back together and assigned a mission by King Mickey. Crossover will be in later chapters.


**Growing up, my cousins and I made up and played out our own stories for Kingdom Hearts, Sonic the Hedgehog, Naruto, and many others. They're not meant to be taken seriously, just for entertainment and a good laugh. We love Kingdom Hearts and the three of us have each added our own OC's for comic relief. Well, here's our spoof, enjoy Kingdom Farts.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy unfortunately...darn.  
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><p>Meanwhile, back at the giant mansion that everybody lives in…<p>

"Man these chocolate covered strawberries are good!" Sora looked around, shocked that nobody had responded to his exclamation. Seeing how everyone was looking at Cloud and Sephiroth, sitting opposite each other at the other end of the table, he did the same.

Goofy walked around the table, yelling "Puh-lace ur bayets laydies and gentlemaynes!"

"Light, what's going-"  
>"SSSSSSSSHADDUP Sora, it's starting! Oh gracious, my love is about to go into battle!" Exclaimed the absurdly common-senseless bat-winged girl.<p>

Goofy continues… "A-hyuck! Are ya ready to ruuuuumble?" Everyone shouts, "YEAH!"

At the end of the table, Cloud and Sephiroth have their eyes closed in deep concentration, readying themselves for the most epic staring contest in history.

-"Round 1….BEGIN!"

They open their eyes. Goofy, sporting a black and white striped referee uniform, in his usual…antics, sits between the two opponents carefully examining their Japanese, but not really Japanese because they're really big EYES, to make sure they both adhere to the rules of sport.

Sitting next to him, Tifa can see Cloud's long, luscious lashes barely twitching above his sky blue pupils, "C'mon Cloud, you can do this," she whispers under her breath. Next to her Kizumi, the boisterous cat-eared girl, raises her right fist into the air and nearly deafeningly shouts, "YEAH CLOUD, DON'T GIVE INTO EVIL!" Sephiroth, keeping his eyes fixed on Cloud's replies to her in his usual too-cool-for-school tone, "Hey, I resent that…" Cloud stomps on the ground, to get Sephie's attention, "Eyes on the prize."

"Ayand we 'ave action out on the fiyeld! Cloud's eyes are a-twitchin'! And we can see a bead of sweyate formin' on Sephie's brow and uppa lip! We also see that Sephie trulee does 'ave a soft spot as tears begin forming in his eyes!" "Stop calling me that!"…Sephie replies. "Oooo anger ohwn the fiyeld today, a-hyuck!"

Kizumi and Light march across the top of the dining room mahogany table yelling "BUTT SCRATCHA? WOULD ANYONE LIKE A BUTT SCRATCHA! BUTT SCRATCHA? BUTT SCRATCHAS GALORE!" "Dude I just imported that table! Not coolio!" Sora turns to look at Slate, the owner of the whiny voice, and by the looks of him, he's extremely 'good lookin'(or so he tells us..)…'nough said. Several at the table, most noticeably, Kairi, take the butt scratchers and rabidly start tearing at they're fannies.

Back across the table…physical contact is prohibited in staring contests so Cloud tries to poke Sephie in the eye by throwing his massive 7 foot sword at him. Sephiroth manages to do a sideways flip while keeping his eyes fixed on Cloudy boy's and with Cloud unarmed, Sephiroth grinds the flat side of his sword into the mahogany table, forming sawdust which he tries to blow into the eyes of his opponent. Cloud blows back, sending the dust into an endless tornado of wood and saliva as the two both ferociously exhale attempting to protect their own eyes.

The cyclone grows, rising up towards the ceiling and tearing at it, forming a hole in it until the upstairs floor gives in, causing the bathing Axel and his rubber ducky, Frank, to fall along with their bathtub and lots of bubbles. Axel, unaware of his new location because he's in such a state of serenity, continues singing "My sanctuary, my sanctuary..." and scrubbing his back until Kizumi runs up to him and asks, "Hey mister, you want a BUTT SCRATCHA?"…He then opens his eyes and examines his surroundings very carefully…. "Who dares disturb happy bath time with Frank?" Kairi, still ferociously scratching her buttocks, stops, raises the scratcher and points past Axel and at the culprits, Cloud and Sephiroth. "You will pay…" Axel, with his beady red eyes warns… "Yeah and that mahogany table is comin outta your salary!" Cries Slate-  
>All of a sudden the whole gang hears the royal trumpet blow and the northeast wall is blown down. "My china!" Slate, brokenheartedly cries. A messanger wearing the royal crest walks through the rummage holding a scroll and declares, "King Mickey has a mission for all of you!" "Hee hee I win!" Sephiroth declares, bouncing around like Tigger on crack. "Are you kidding me?" Cloud angrily replies, realizing he lost because of that stupid mouse again….<p> 


End file.
